


Not So Broken After All

by sevarix



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexual My Unit | Byleth, Asexual Relationship, M/M, Male My Unit | Byleth, Other, also yuri is the ace colors, asexual yuri leclerc, byleth realizes he's asexual, so like yeah he's totally ace, yay ace representation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-14
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:41:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26998366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sevarix/pseuds/sevarix
Summary: As he goes through life, Byleth realizes he's a bit different from others. But as he gets older, he begins to realize that what he thought was an inherent flaw was perhaps not so much of a flaw after all, especially when he meets someone like himself.
Relationships: Yuris Leclair | Yuri Leclerc & My Unit | Byleth, Yuris Leclair | Yuri Leclerc/My Unit | Byleth
Comments: 14
Kudos: 60





	Not So Broken After All

**Author's Note:**

> So basically, I'm ace and wanted to write about my favorite ship being ace. This took me waaaaay too long to write, so I hope you enjoy this little snippet of ace representation.

****Imperial Year 1174** **

****

Byleth followed his father back to the camp. Their job this time had been easy, but the villagers had been so happy for their help that they had insisted to celebrate with a feast. Byleth didn’t think killing bandits was worthy of such a celebration, but Jeralt had them go anyway.

He sat in the corner the whole time, saying few words. Some of the villagers had tried to talk to him, but he didn’t have much to say. He never did.

Once they made it back to camp, Jeralt turned and smiled at him. “You have fun, kid?”

Byleth shrugged. He preferred the quiet, but at least the food was good.

Jeralt laughed. “Seems like those girls your age were giving you some looks.”

“Oh,” Byleth responded, not sure why it was of any particular note.

They sat down by their tent, and Jeralt smiled at him again, though this time there a hint of sadness. “You’re getting to that age now, I guess. Just don’t go chasing after the village girls, all right?”

Byleth frowned at him with confusion. “Why would I do that?”

Jeralt chuckled. “Never mind, kid. I guess I don’t have anything to worry about yet.”

****Imperial Year 1176** **

Byleth sat by the campfire, pulling on his boots. His father had told him they had a different kind of mission today, but he still didn’t know what it was. He just hoped it didn’t involve too much fighting. He never really knew any different, but sometimes he wondered what it would be like if he didn’t have to fight anymore.

Jeralt exited the tent and sat next to him, pulling out some rations for a quick breakfast.

“Hey, dad,” Byleth said. “Will we always be mercenaries?”

Jeralt looked at him with surprise, then with sadness. He was quiet for a moment, but finally responded. “Not always, I guess. You’re almost an adult, and you deserve a life of your own someday.”

Byleth nodded. He liked the sound of that.

“That’s… one reason we’re doing something different today. I want to give you a chance to socialize with other kids your age. Maybe put down some roots.”

Byleth nodded, but he wasn’t really sure what to think. Socializing wasn’t something he was good at, but at least it wasn’t fighting.

“It’ll be good for you,” Jeralt said with a smile as they moved toward the village. “We’ve been here a few times before. I’m sure you remember that family we stayed with that one time? With the daughter about your age?”

He nodded. He did remember, in fact, he recalled that the nice couple had given them particularly delicious bread when they stayed there.

When they arrived, the family greeted Jeralt cheerfully. It was a different sort of happiness than how people reacted when they completed a job; this one had a sense of familiarity to it. Friendship, he guessed.

For the next few hours, they spent time with the family, eating that tasty bread among other foods, and telling stories. The couple’s daughter was particularly chatty with Byleth, and he guessed this was what his father meant by socializing. He did not find his own stories interesting, but the girl seemed to. Perhaps he had become jaded from all his years fighting.

“You and your father come here a lot,” the girl said after Byleth had finished yet another story. “Maybe some day you can come live here.”

He considered the idea. It would be nice to actually have a permanent home, but it wasn’t something he ever thought he could have. “Maybe,” he replied.

During the remaining time, the girl sat close to him--far closer than he felt comfortable with--and went on about her own stories. Despite the minor discomfort of lacking personal space, Byleth was glad he no longer was the one talking.

Then, once late afternoon approached, it was time for them to leave.

“Thanks again for the hospitality,” Jeralt said to the family. “We need to travel pretty far before morning, but it was nice catching up.” He smirked, turning to Byleth. “And maybe we’ll have a reason to come by more often.”

Byleth was a little confused by what his father meant, but nodded anyway. The bread was worth it, after all.

It was on their way back to their camp that Jeralt spoke to him again. “So, kid. What did you think?”

“The food was great,” he replied.

Jeralt laughed. “Well, I agree, but I meant what did you think about socializing for once?”

He shrugged. “It was all right, I guess.”

“You know, if you want to see that girl again we can stop by here more. It seemed like you two got along pretty well.”

He shrugged again. “I guess.”

“It’s all right if you catch feelings for someone, I hope you know that. I don’t want to keep you from falling in love, or anything like that.”

Byleth only stared at him. He was only sixteen. Why would he fall in love? Didn’t that just happen to older people?

Jeralt laughed. “Maybe you’re still not ready for that kind of thing. But if you ever have feelings for someone, come talk to me, all right?”

He nodded, but he wasn’t really sure what those feelings were. Maybe he’d find out when he was older. He didn’t really care either way.

****Imperial Year 1180** **

****

Byleth walked back to his quarters, taking in the sights of the monastery. It had been only a few months, but already he felt like he belonged here. He enjoyed teaching, even though it often still meant fighting at times. But he had come to really care about the students of the Blue Lions house.

He was almost to his quarters when Sylvain appeared next to him. He was quite a slacker, but Byleth could tell he was actually quite smart when he wanted to be.

“Hey, professor,” he said, smiling.

“Hello, Sylvain. Do you need something?”

“Yeah, actually, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about. I have tea prepared in my room. Thought we could chat a little.”

It seemed suspicious, and Byleth figured he would only try to get out of some responsibility, but he still agreed.

Sylvain’s room was surprisingly neat. Perhaps he wasn’t always a slacker. Or maybe it was just to impress the girls he no doubt brought there.

Byleth sat across from Sylvain, carefully sipping tea. “So, what did you want, Sylvain?”

“I just wanted to thank you for always believing in me, professor.”

“So… what do you want?”

He sighed. “Fine, right to the point, then. Well, as you probably know, my grades aren’t the best.”

“You need to try harder,” Byleth replied.

“Sure. But… I was wondering if maybe I could offer you something. In return for being such a great professor.”

“You’re bribing me?”

“No, nothing like that!”

Byleth sighed. “Just try harder, Sylvain. You’re smarter than you think.”

He looked genuinely surprised, then smiled. “Thanks. I… I appreciate that. But let’s say, I offer you something valuable in exchange for letting me skip fighting every once in a while.”

Byleth almost disagreed, but decided to listen. Fighting was difficult, after all, and already his students had seen some things most hadn’t at their age. Killing was never easy. “Go on.”

The smirk returned. “Well, I happen to know quite a few people here who have eyes for you. I could help hook you up, if you know what I mean.”

Byleth frowned. “This is what you consider valuable?”

“Hey, I know you probably don’t get a lot of action being as busy as you are. Just wanted to look out for you. Make sure your needs were met, if you know what I mean.”

“No,” Byleth responded flatly.

“I promise none of them are students! Gah, I hope you didn’t think I meant that. All adults, I promise.”

“I’m not interested.”

“You… sure?”

“Very sure.”

“I’m talking both women _and_ men, just in case you were curious.”

“I’m not interested,” Byleth repeated. He should have expected no less from Sylvain, be even still he was growing irritated. Why would he even offer something like that? What value would that even add to his life? 

“Fine, fine. I get it, it’s not professional.” He smiled. “But if you change your mind…”

“Sylvain, if you don’t want to go into battle as much, just tell me. You don’t need to bribe me.”

His smile faded, and he looked down. “Thanks, Professor. I mean it.”

****Imperial year 1185** **

Byleth sat next to the campfire, letting out a sigh. They were in the middle of a war, and of all things to worry about, he had to worry about rumors. Rumors about _himself_.

He was hardly even worthy of rumors. His days as the Ashen Demon were over, and the rumors that surrounded that name had ended, too. He didn’t think being a professor would bring rumors as well. Especially not during a war.

He let out another sigh of frustration, feeling the fire’s warmth, trying to clear his thoughts.

The sound of footsteps drew his attention. He hoped it wasn’t someone coming to talk to him. He had enough talking for the night.

When he looked up, though, all he saw was Yuri hanging the cooking pot over the fire. Good, he thought. Just someone making dinner.

Yuri turned to leave, but then spotted him and frowned. Byleth didn’t blame him, he probably looked like a mess.

Yuri sat down next to him. “Hey, friend. You all right?”

He let out a deep breath. “I’ll be fine. Just frustrated at some rumors about me.”

“Rumors, huh? Those can be dangerous in times like these.”

Byleth shook his head. “Nothing like that. The rumors are that… I bribed the imperial defectors with… salacious methods.” It was silly, he realized. A silly thing to be upset about. Others would probably be amused by it, maybe even try to perpetuate it. But he was just frustrated.

Yuri nodded with understanding. “I know what that’s like. There are rumors about me that would make even Sylvain blush.”

Byleth looked at him with surprise.

“None of it’s true, of course,” Yuri added. “But I gave up trying to stop it years ago.”

“I guess I shouldn’t let it bother me,” Byleth said. “It’s just that, well, it’s not something I would ever do. I’ve never slept with anyone. I don’t ever want to.” He stopped himself, feeling embarrassed. He probably sounded like an immature child to someone like Yuri. “Never mind. I’m probably the only one who feels that way.”

Yuri stared at him with confusion for a long moment. Byleth felt increasingly embarrassed by his short rant. Perhaps he let his frustration get the best of him. Perhaps he should go back to not revealing too much about himself. There was a war going on. He shouldn’t be so easily distracted.

Yuri eventually stopped staring, and glanced down. “You really feel that way, huh?” His voice grew quiet. “I know what you mean.”

Before Byleth could respond, Yuri stood.

“I’ll see what I can do about those rumors,” Yuri said, turning back toward the camp. “No need to worry, friend.”

Byleth stared at Yuri as he walked away, wondering if he had heard him correctly.

****Imperial year 1185** **

****A few weeks later** **

****

Byleth had learned quickly that, in war, information was sometimes more valuable than gold.

So, when Yuri mentioned he knew a mercenary leader who might have some information, he tagged along.

It had become a somewhat frequent occurrence. Ever since he helped Yuri with the rival gang leader five years prior, he had become one of his trusted allies.

“You think she’ll actually tell us something useful?” Byleth asked as they approached the camp. “Or do you think it’s a trap?”

“I’ve known her for a while now. I think we can trust her,” Yuri replied. “As for the quality of the information, I’m not so sure.” He shrugged. “Guess we’ll find out.”

They entered the camp, finding the mercenary leader unpacking supplies in the largest tent. She turned as they approached, and by her appearance, Byleth guessed she was pretty experienced. Not only was she about a decade older, but her gait, her armor, and even her weapons indicated a successful career as a mercenary.

“Ah, here comes the Mockingbird,” she said with a smile.

“Hey there, been a while,” Yuri responded.

She sighed. “War keeps us all busy, that’s for sure. I hear you’re needing some information about the imperial army, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Yuri said. “What do you have for me?”

“I caught wind of a rumor about the imperial army’s position near the border,” she explained. “All yours for the right price.”

Yuri considered this for a moment. “What’s your price?”

Byleth knew mercenaries well; they worked for gold, plain and simple. In this case, Yuri wouldn’t be able to trade information for information. He just hoped the fee was not exorbitant. The war had drained enough gold from the monastery already.

“Seven thousand,” the woman replied.

Yuri shook his head. “A little steep for just a rumor.”

“It came from a good source,” she insisted. “But, for my favorite Mockingbird, I’ll go down to five thousand.”

“You drive a hard bargain,” Yuri muttered. “Still too high.”

Byleth agreed. That much for only a rumor was not worth their money. They were not as desperate as the woman likely thought they were.

“All right,” the mercenary said. “Since your gold seems to be short, I’ll make you a deal.”

Yuri narrowed his eyes at her.

She smiled. “Two thousand gold, and a night with the Savage Mockingbird.”

Yuri didn’t even hesitate with his response. “No.”

“Oh come on, how long have we known each other now? We could both use a bit of fun.”

“No,” he repeated. “I only deal in gold and information. No deal.”

She sighed with disappointment. “Fine.”

“We’re done here,” Yuri said, turning to leave.

“I’ll be here if you change your mind,” the mercenary said as they walked away.

Once they were away from the camp, Yuri let out a long sigh. “Sorry that didn’t work out, friend. I don’t think it was a reliable source, anyway.”

Byleth nodded. “I agree. The price was too high, anyway. And… a bit odd.”

Yuri laughed. “Sometimes I forget how naive you can be. That wasn’t the first time that’s happened. Like I mentioned, the rumors about the Savage Mockingbird can get a little out of control.” He shrugged, and his voice softened. “Sometimes they couldn’t be further from the truth.”

Byleth considered his words for a moment. He realized he was approaching a very personal side of Yuri, something he did not think was wise. But he now knew what such rumors were like, and the frustration that came with them. He said it anyway. “Sounds like they hurt you more than they help you.”

He expected a nonchalant response from Yuri, but what he saw was quite the opposite. Yuri’s demeanor changed, his normal confidence fading. “Yeah.” 

Byleth decided to change the subject. “Thanks, by the way,” he said. “For… helping with the rumors about me.”

He shrugged. “Sure. It was easy enough.”

They walked in silence for a while before Yuri spoke again.

“Hey, Byleth…” He glanced down, appearing uncharacteristically nervous. “Did you… really mean all those things you said? When you told me about your rumors a few weeks ago?”

He was still a bit embarrassed about his outburst, but still he nodded. “Yeah. I realize it sounds pretty childish. My father always thought something was wrong with me. Maybe there is, but I don’t care.”

Yuri stopped walking for a moment and looked at him. “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you. You’re just a bit different. And… well… you’re not the only one.”

Byleth blinked at him. “So, you… also…”

He smiled weakly. “Hard to believe, I know.” He glanced down sadly. “I guess one reason why I gave up stopping the rumors about me is that I was afraid of people knowing the truth. I didn’t want them to think I was just some pathetic, broken, unlovable, underground filth who didn’t care about anyone’s affection. Takes away from the charm that’s gotten me so far.”

Byleth very rarely felt the desire to hug someone, but in that moment he wanted to embrace Yuri. He decided not to. “Yuri… I don’t think you’re any of those things. There’s nothing wrong with you either. We’re the same.”

He nodded, though his gaze remained downward. “I guess you’re right.”

“Can I… give you a hug?” After he asked it, he realized how dumb it sounded and regretted saying anything at all.

Yuri blinked at him a few times, then laughed. “You’re adorable.” He took a step toward him. “Why not.”

Byleth smiled, then embraced him.

“Thanks, friend,” Yuri said softly as he hugged back.

****Imperial Year 1185** **

****A few months later** **

****

Byleth let out a long sigh. The war was over.

He had done it. He had somehow helped his old students fight to save Fodlan. Now, perhaps there could be a lasting peace.

Immediately upon returning to the monastery, the celebration began. People forgot of all the killing, all the horrible things they had witnessed for the past few months, and celebrated life.

Byleth hadn’t stayed during the festivities for long. Exhaustion had overcome him, and socializing hadn’t always been something he was good at. But just hearing the distant joyous laughter from the celebration was enough to make him happy.

He found a bench in the courtyard of the monastery and sat, looking at the stars. Although the uncertainty of war was over, he found himself wondering what he would do next.

The sound of footsteps in the grass turned his attention away from the stars.

“Hey, friend,” Yuri said as he approached. “I see you’re also not one for loud gatherings.” He sat beside him, holding out a small pastry. “You gotta try this, though. They’re going fast, so I saved you one.”

Byleth smiled and took the pastry. “Thanks, Yuri.” He was right, it was indeed delicious.

For a moment the two of them sat in silence.

“Hey, Yuri,” Byleth said, breaking the silence. “What do you think you’ll do now that the war is over?”

“Probably the same as I always do,” he said with a shrug.

“But, things will be different now,” Byleth said. “Maybe… maybe we can do more to help the common people.”

He smiled. “You realize you’ll probably be some kind of big leader after all this, right? I heard they’re gonna make you the new archbishop. Probably won’t be hard to achieve whatever you want.”

Perhaps Yuri was right. Byleth hadn’t wanted a major leadership role, but it seemed likely to happen. “If that happens, I’d want you to help me.”

Yuri chuckled. “You sure?”

“Yeah. I trust you more than anyone.” He hadn’t realized it until he had spoken it, but it was indeed true. “You understand me better than anyone.”

Yuri stared at him wide-eyed for a moment, then smiled. “Thanks. I’d be happy to stay by your side as long as you’d like me to.” He hesitated a moment. “And… well, I think you understand me more than anyone ever has. So I’m glad it goes both ways.”

Byleth had no idea what possessed him to do what he did next. Maybe he had more drinks than he remembered. Maybe the exhaustion was getting to him. Maybe it was because he now had a connection with another person that was stronger than he had ever experienced before.

He gently took Yuri’s hand and held it.

Yuri flinched at first, but then relaxed. Then, he chuckled. “Do you not know how to hold hands?”

Byleth glanced down, realizing something did look a bit off. But, it was true. He had never done this before.

Yuri shifted his hand, interlocking his fingers with Byleth’s. “Like this,” he said, smiling.

Byleth smiled in return, feeling the warmth of his hand. He did not want to let go.

And then they sat, hand in hand in the quiet courtyard, looking up at the stars.

****Imperial Year 1186** **

****

Byleth sat across from Dorothea, enjoying some afternoon tea. He was grateful to have her stay at the monastery to take care of the orphans, but he was also grateful to have more friends around the monastery. Now that he was archbishop, he rarely had a chance to leave Garreg Mach.

“I knew Ashe wouldn’t have the courage to ask anyone for advice about romance,” Dorothea said, continuing her tales of gossip surrounding the monastery. “So I decided to approach him and offer it to him myself.” She laughed. “He’s just so innocent. Do you know what the first thing he asked me was?”

Byleth set down his teacup. “How to hold hands?” he guessed.

She laughed again. “Oh no, he’s not _that_ ignorant. Turns out he tried to kiss her but got too scared to do it. How cute is that? He’s almost my age and he’s never kissed anyone before.”

Byleth shrugged. “Is it really that odd? Maybe he never wanted to.” He certainly had never wanted to before, and didn’t know why it was such a big deal. If anything, it seemed a bit gross.

“Never wanted to? Oh no, that poor child was just too scared. Who wouldn’t want to kiss someone they had feelings for?”

The concept perplexed Byleth, and he tried to come up with a response that wouldn’t make him sound… odd. Unfortunately, Dorothea was very good at reading people.

Her eyes widened. “Oh don’t tell me…” Then she smiled, clearly curious about what she just inferred. “You’ve really never… I… I almost don’t believe it.”

He shrugged. “I’ve never been interested in romance.”

Dorothea laughed for a long moment. “And here I thought you had already picked out your future wife.” She shook her head. “Nobles and commoners alike are betting on who you’ll choose.”

“R-really?” He knew becoming archbishop would make his private life less private, but to think people were awaiting to hear who he would choose to marry seemed absurd to him.

“Well, I guess you can’t blame them. Just like a king or high ranking noble, who you marry is a political affair. Especially once there are children involved. Who will be the heir, that sort of thing.”

Byleth only stared at her.

She laughed. “Goddess, that look on your face!” She gave him a friendly wink. “No need to worry, you just keep living the life you want to live. Let them keep speculating.”

He nodded, feeling relieved. “Thanks.”

She narrowed her eyes. “Surely there’s _someone_ you’ve had at least a little feelings for.”

“I… don’t know.”

Her expression softened. “Are you… afraid? Of getting too close to someone? I know war can do that.” She frowned. “I understand how that feels.”

Byleth considered for a moment if he should just tell her the truth. How he was inherently flawed. She was always understanding, so he hoped she wouldn’t make him feel too embarrassed about it. “Well, I just… don’t really like the things that come with romance.”

She tilted her head. “Things like what? I mean, I can think of a few things myself.” 

“I don’t like intimacy.” He glanced down, beginning to regret bringing it up. “I’m just… flawed, I guess. I’ve always been that way.”

She narrowed her eyes, looking at him with curiosity. “So, you… don’t want sex?”

He felt his face flush with embarrassment. “I don’t.”

“Really? Like, not with _anyone_?”

“No. I find it… repulsive.”

She looked at him curiously. “No kissing either?”

“No.”

“What about hugging?”

He hesitated. “With certain people, it’s fine.”

“Holding hands?”

“Only with certain people.”

She looked at him again for a long moment. “I must admit, I’ve never met someone like that before. It’s actually kind of endearing.”

“So you believe me?”

She laughed. “Of course. You know yourself better than anyone else.” She shrugged. “I’m not sure I understand fully, but I can see why you might find it challenging. I suppose finding someone else who would… agree to your terms would be difficult.”

“It’s fine. I don’t plan on marrying.”

She shrugged. “Do whatever suits you. You can still have an emotional bond with someone without sleeping with them.”

He considered this for a moment. “Emotional bond?”

“Yeah, you know, a bond where you understand each other completely. One where you go to each other when you’re feeling down.” She smiled. “Someone you’d want to give a hug.”

“So an emotional bond is also love?”

“Well, yeah. It’s a type of love.” She chuckled. “And here I thought only Ashe needed love advice. I guess I’m becoming the monastery’s relationship expert.”

He nodded, smiling. “Thanks, Dorothea. For… not thinking I’m weird.”

She smiled in return. “I’ve met a lot of people in my life, Byleth. I’ve stopped judging long ago. Everyone has their quirks. And don’t worry, I won’t go spreading it around.”

“I appreciate it.” Perhaps he was not so flawed after all.

****Imperial year 1186** **

****A few days later** **

****

Byleth sat in his quarters, staring at the few items his father had left behind. His journal, a small knife, and the ring.

_One day, I hope you’ll give this ring to someone you love as well as I love her._

He would always remember his father’s words, even though he hated remembering them. As he got older, and as he spent more time with others, he had started to think that maybe he would never love anyone. He hadn’t even been sure what it meant to love someone.

But after his discussion with Dorothea, he felt… accepted. _Normal_ almost. He thought back through his entire life, and realized just how rare an emotional bond was. Only one person in his life ever met the criteria. And if that’s what it meant to love someone… then he guessed he did love someone, in his own way. Perhaps to others it would seem trivial, maybe even not real love, but to him it meant everything.

A knock on his door interrupted his thoughts. He closed his hand around the ring, making a fist. “Enter.”

Yuri entered the room, closing the door behind him. “Hey, you wanted to talk to me?”

He nodded. “Yeah… um… thanks for coming.”

“Sure. Is this about that nobleman in the south causing problems again for the villagers? I have some more ideas on how we can deal with that.”

“N-no, actually, I wanted to talk about something else.” He stepped in front of Yuri. “I wanted to give you something.”

Yuri looked at him curiously. “Oh?”

Byleth gestured for him to hold out his hand, and then gently dropped the ring into his palm. “I want you to have this.”

Yuri stared at it in shock for a long moment, his face flushed. Then he looked up at Byleth like he was insane. “A-are you… proposing?!”

Byleth felt his face become hot. “Um well, I don’t know. I just… my father told me to give that ring to someone I loved. And well, I’ve decided that’s you.”

Yuri stared at him a moment longer, then laughed. “You certainly are full of surprises at times.” Then he smiled. “Thanks. I… feel the same about you. Have for a while now, actually.”

Byleth froze with surprise. “Really?”

He shifted nervously. “Yeah. You’ve always been so kind and sweet to me.” He glanced down at the ring. “And well, you showed me that I’m not so broken after all. That people like us aren’t unlovable.”

Byleth smiled. “Can I give you a hug?”

He laughed. “Of course.” He moved closer and embraced him. “You don’t need to ask anymore.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! If this is popular enough, I might write a part two. :) Yay for ace representation!


End file.
